7 Gründe, warum die meisten Menschen Angst haben, sich zu verlieben

Zuletzt aktualisiert am May 20, 2024 by Friedrich Müller


In healthy relationships, it is important to have clear boundaries. This is especially true in dependent relationships, where one person often neglects their own needs. Without boundaries, such a relationship can quickly become unhealthy. Here are 10 reasons why boundaries often don’t work in codependent relationships.

Lack of self-esteem

How does lack of self-worth affect your dependence on others?

If you don’t value yourself, it’s difficult to set boundaries with your partner. You are afraid of seeming negative or endangering the relationship. But without self-esteem, you are more vulnerable to exploitation and manipulation. You have to learn to love yourself as much as you love your partner in order to be able to say no.


What is Codependency? Great Lakes Psychology Group

In codependent relationships, the partners are dependent on each other, including emotionally and psychologically. Your own happiness and well-being depends heavily on your partner. However, such extremely close relationships make it almost impossible to create distance and clearly communicate your own needs.

Fear of conflict

How Do Codependency and Interdependency Differ? | Treatment

Some people fear conflict so much that they constantly act according to their partner’s wishes in order to avoid arguments. But conflicts are completely normal in relationships and setting boundaries doesn’t necessarily have to lead to arguments. Without the ability to say no sometimes, your own needs fall by the wayside.

Lack of communication

Lack of relationship communication: Tips to overcome it

If you don’t express your wishes and boundaries clearly, there is no way for your partner to take them into account. Often it is simply assumed that everything is fine. But without honest communication, a balanced relationship cannot be created in which both sides are taken into account.

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Lack of trust

What is Codependency? | Charlie Health

People who don’t fully trust their partner don’t trust them to respect their boundaries and needs. Instead of talking openly about their own needs, they prefer to accept everything so as not to endanger the relationship. But true trust is the basis for authenticity.

Dominant behavior of the partner

Do You Have a Codependent Personality?

Some partners have a dominant personality and tend to constantly control the other. This makes it difficult to raise your own voice and negotiate boundaries on an equal footing. The dominant part often remains unreasonable.

Avoiding conflicts

Avoiding Codependency vs Being Interdependent

Some people avoid conflict because they always had to give in as children. Now they find it difficult to say no, even when it affects their boundaries. Instead of allowing conflict, they prefer to give in.

Lack of awareness of your own needs

On codependency, and what it means to need someone else -  HelloGigglesHelloGiggles

Some people don’t even know what they want because they only listen to the needs of others. It’s difficult to draw boundaries at all if you don’t know your own wishes and boundaries.

Unrealistic expectations

8 unrealistic expectations that lead to conflict and breakup | The Times of  India

Some expect their partner to have a perfect, conflict-free relationship. They think boundaries would jeopardize that expectation. But conflict is normal and boundaries create a more realistic balance.


Boundaries are important for a healthy relationship. But many factors make it difficult to enforce them in a dependent dynamic. It takes time and work to build authentic self-confidence and communicative skills. Only then are boundaries respected instead of violated.